Seasons

life-seasonsWhen I was younger, I was immersed in the present and assumed things would always be somewhat the same. I was taught to learn, seek goals, whether it be marriage and love, or job promotions and advancement. There were certain things that were just “the way things were” and life happened. I didn’t think much about anything further than the near future I could see.

But there are seasons to each life. I’ve passed through a few of them. I got married and had children. 46 years have passed. I am still living in that season but there have been others within. I lost friends who were too young. I lost a father. I lost a younger sister. I’ve had cancer.

In the beginning, there was a time of growing, learning what it meant to become an adult. I remember after my 2nd child musing that “I must be a woman now.” There was a time of independence. I decided to buy a car on my own, without my husbands’ help. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do something without his guidance. I was very proud of my baby doo doo yellow Toyota.

There was a time of losing my naiveté and learning about life, and work and how others live in the world. I learned how to cuss. There was a time of brokenness, of emotionalism and a time of therapy. There was a time of spiritual seeking. During that time I rediscovered and found again my love for God and met Jesus.

christians-in-pakistan-prayers

That time began a journey in a new direction. I felt and tasted the presence of the Holy Spirit and wanted more. I met a community of Charismatic Nuns who became mentors and friends and lifelong prayer companions. I had a season of prayerfulness which forged a habit and love and dependence upon prayer which has sustained me and strengthened me, and taught me how to live the rest of my life.

Now I am in a new season. If it has to be defined, perhaps it is a time of aging, a time of disability, a time of learning dependence of a different sort. Through it all, I have used and been sustained by the prayerfulness I learned before. I am eternally thankful for that season of learning about prayer. I couldn’t have gotten this far without it and without my faith.

And as I look ahead, I also look behind. I can see some mistakes and some times when I was more seeking than I am today. I have learned a little about living with resignation, but still grasp onto the vision of hope and a better and stronger future. Perhaps now it is time to once again seek for more.

 

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About estherlou

My husband and I married in 1970. I am the mother of 2 and grandmother to 5. I am a retired wedding cake decorator. I like watching Netflix on the Wii. I am catching up on all of the old tv shows I missed when they were on prime time! Right now though, I am reading and writing blogs, watching tv, making jewelry and rosaries, selling in my Etsy store and playing solitaire. I am home bound and add in my physical therapy exercises to my daily routine. I will blog about my progress or anything that catches my attention at that moment. See you around and thanks for stopping by!
This entry was posted in writing, personal, blog, culture, religion, humor, inspiration, people, American, musings, miscellaneous, social, Christianity, economy, reflections, faith, poetry,. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Seasons

  1. Andy says:

    How beautiful and profound, may you know Gods grace in all the coming seasons with all that they might hold for you.

    Like

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