lonely_seniorThe diagnosis was quick.
The treatment begun and finished.
the hustle and bustle is over.
the emergency relaxed.

now, there is only uncertainty.
I have returned to aloneness.
the time my daughter gave to me, a precious gift.
But I have returned to what used to be.

Everyone resumes ordinariness.
What am I supposed to do with myself now?
The final result is still unknown.
It is presumed healed, but time has to pass.

Emotions and depression threaten me.
How do I cope?
They are foreign to me.
I feel as if I was uprooted and then returned.

The adventure was surreal.
Did it really happen?
Now what do I do?
How do I return to myself?

About estherlou

My husband and I married in 1970. I am the mother of 2 and grandmother to 5. I share my health stories and my experiences with Thrive. I am reading and writing blogs, watching tv, making jewelry and rosaries, selling in my Etsy store and playing solitaire. I am home bound and add in my physical therapy exercises to my daily routine. I will blog about my progress or anything that catches my attention at that moment. See you around and thanks for stopping by!
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2 Responses to Disbelief

  1. grannyK says:

    This is so heart breaking! Could it be that you have been so focussed on getting better, and now that the frantic battle is done, you are starting to feel all of the emotions you kept at bay while you fought the illness? If that makes sense…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. estherlou says:

    It is entirely possible. I have always been the type of person to cope in the moment and fall apart later. Thanks for reading my blog.


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