Just Waiting

I hesitate to share really deep and personal things sometimes. I feel either they are so personal it is not something to pass around to just anyone. Or no one would be remotely interested, or…they are one of those TMI things…you want to know, but when you start telling it, the person puts up a hand and says OMG…too much information! LOL

My days now fall in the later category. I’ll give a little quick background for new readers to catch up. I am handicapped and home bound. I can get up and down and transfer from chair to bed, from chair to bathroom etc. on my own but with effort. My knees have bone spurs in them that prevent me from straightening out my legs. When I stand, it is at a bent over crouch so my center of gravity and all my weight fall on those really low bent knees. And, I need both knees replaced. The last time I went to the surgeon to investigate knee surgery, the doctor looked at my x-rays and said, ‘you have really bad knees! You have REALLY bad knees! …uh…you have REALLY bad knees!’ It was a little amusing since I REALLY already knew that.

The result of that visit was to learn I needed to lose weight before they would even consider doing surgery on my knees. My lymphedema also causes some reluctance in the surgeon since knee surgery sometimes damages some of the lymph node clusters in the legs near the knees. I already have a compromised lymphatic system which causes the swelling in the lower extremities so it is almost ‘damned if I do and damned if I don’t’. But I have been trying to lose weight with surgery as a future goal. So far I have lost 50 lbs. since August 2014. The lymphedema impedes my losses sometimes, but slow and steady counts for much.

That brings us up to now. I have had an abnormal pap smear and have some bleeding a couple of times a month. The abnormal cells in the pap smear, the bleeding, and a thickness of the endometrial layer is all of concern and raises red flags to the doctor. I tried to get a biopsy in the office but the gynecologist was unable to reach the spot. There was some abnormalities in the ‘feel’ of things also, so next visit is to a gynecological oncologist. What you say? That just means a cancer doctor who specializes in gynecology. He will try to get the biopsy done, perhaps under anesthesia and we will see what comes next. If there is cancer, it will be cervical or endometrial and the treatments are different. One would mean a hysterectomy. The other went over my head so I will wait to find out. A friend of Daughter also found on the internet that cervical cysts can cause irregular bleeding and swelling etc. so she is hoping for that as the lesser of evils. I am strangely calm, being uplifted by many, many prayers but thought you would appreciate a report. It will be a couple of weeks before I know anything new. Until then…the journey continues…