Positives/negatives/Wants and desires

I was browsing blogs today and read the About page of one. They had this idea posted so we could get to know them better. I thought it was unique and decided to think about it and see what I could come up with. List three positive words, three negative words, three loves, three passions, three favorites and three burdens.

Three positive words: (or if single words are difficult, how about a phrase)

1. I think please and thank you should go together as one. There is nothing like being thanked for simple courtesies. Giving  a thank you for ordinary things tells people you appreciate them. It is a simple way to treat others with kindness and compassion. And you have to stick I’m sorry in with this. You have to admit your mistakes and apologize whether it is in family or work situations. If you don’t it will fester inside of you into something stressful and ugly. It’s much better to own up to messes and don’t let them grow bigger. Most people admire those who can admit when they are wrong and try to learn from their mistakes.
2. I’m proud of you. The first time I heard this, I was an adult. I’m not sure my parents ever learned to use that phrase or even heard it themselves, but it is important to give positive reinforcement. I remember being taken aback when someone said it to me. I was so insecure as a person, I never realized I needed to say it to my own kids. I might be proud of them, but never knew people actually said that out loud.
3. I love you. Never forget to tell those people who are important to you that you love them, appreciate them and are thankful they are a part of your life. Time tends to get away from you. Don’t expect others to read your mind. Of course, sometimes words are not needed. My husband tells me every day in the things he does for me. I need to tell him how much I appreciate that about him.

Three negative words:

1. This is making me think. I remember when I was younger, my dad was going through a time of unemployment and frustration. He took these feelings out on my younger brother. He would call him a ‘piece of s*** who would never amount to anything. Don’t make the mistake of telling negative words to your children. Those words will stay with them for the rest of their lives and color how they look at themselves and how they relate to the world.
2. Never tell anyone You are stupid! No one is stupid, just uneducated or ignorant of how things are supposed to be. This is the most degrading thing you could ever tell someone and will mark them for life. Everyone is capable of learning and improving.
3. Along the same line is You are ugly. None of us can help how we were born or the features we have. We can make ourselves look the best we can be, but that is all. You must look inside a person and find out who the real person is. We all tend to judge people by what we see and first impressions stay with us. All of us need to be more careful not to judge by appearance, size, color, clothes or just beauty. We never know what is going on inside a person unless we take the time to find out. We owe that to a person before we judge them.

Three loves: (prepare to have to think about this one. For some reason this one was harder for me.)

1. My husband and my children. I have been married since 1970 to the same man. I didn’t believe I was pretty, or normal, or talented. I grew up fat with glasses and was made fun of. I leaned at an early age I was less than every one else, and became shy and withdrawn. I always felt like I was on the outside looking in at life in general, so I never understood what he saw in me. Over the years he has supported me emotionally and given me more than I could ask for. He has stuck by me during crazy times and years of living with clinical depression. He shows his love for me in his steadfastness and quiet presence. My son is my prayer buddy. We have a love of prayer and depending on God in common and he gives me lots of support. My daughter is my best friend and is my part-time caregiver. I couldn’t live without her. She is special to me on many levels. Son is a wonderful father, husband and supports his family with love, respect and a sense of responsibility. Daughter is hard-working, talented and loving and compassionate. I can’t imagine my life without my family.

Three passions:

1. This one was also hard for me. As an extremely shy person, I grew up trying to blend in with the wallpaper. I never even thought I had the right to have dreams, wants or desires. My first real passion was singing. I had a God-given talent and loved to sing. People told me I had a beautiful voice. I sang in choir in high school and even took some lessons. I majored in music in college, but only finished two years before I quit to get married. Life, marriage and children interrupted. At almost 40, I went to community college and asked if I was good enough to take voice lessons. I then was given the opportunity to sing in some of the community operas and went on to finish my bachelors degree in music. I developed my voice and technique and was able to sing better than most. I got a lot of self-satisfaction and affirmation and confidence in being able to do something I loved. I even sang with the Symphony. I was a cantor/song leader in church and used my voice to minister to others. It was a wonderful time in my life.
2. Passions can also be negative. Mine was food. I used it to comfort me when I was hurt or sad. Food became my best friend and steady companion. I ate when I was happy and excited, and ate when I was sad, hurt or depressed. Food became the most important thing in my life as a young person and the results have followed me my entire life. I have learned to live without bingeing or overeating, but obesity still follows me.
3. I grew up going to church off and on. I had a born again experience when I was 13-15 at a summer camp and it remained a part of me. Time, differences in theology, and jobs kept hubby and I out of church for many years though we both believed God was an important part of our lives. We both were brought up to believe our spiritual lives and our secular lives were separate and private and you didn’t share with others the spiritual side of your life. Living with my insecurities, clinical depression and thinking I was crazy led me back into prayer and searching. I had another personal encounter with God and a hunger to get closer to Him. I developed a great love of prayer and a dependence on His presence in my life that has gotten me through much. I can’t imagine life without His presence.

Three favorites: I feel this one needed sub-categories of food, hobbies, favorite tv shows and movies.

1. First has to be chocolate and salty. I used to binge on chocolate candy bars and a bag of chips. The binge days are gone, but chocolate and salty are still favorites. As long as I eat my protein chocolate pudding, or granola bars with a touch of chocolate, I can satisfy my chocolate fix. And even while dieting, I can have chips when I want as long as I pay attention to how many. My favorite kind of food has always been mexican food. I love tacos or burritos and could pig out on chips and salsa. Now, I have to be very careful and watch my portion control because the desire to lose weight and get healthier is stronger than the desire to pig out on tacos and chips. But I can still eat them when I want and plan for them. Pizza is a bad one. It could almost become a passion. I used to think I could eat pizza several times a week and again for breakfast when it was cold. Now, I limit my pizza to healthier options and the obsession for devouring a whole  delivered pizza smothered in cheese has diminished.
2. My favorite hobbies are varied and almost endless. They go in spurts as my attention span changes. I like to crochet or knit, play solitaire, play Yahtzee, write blogs, read, proofread manuscripts, spend time with my daughter, think and pray and watch tv. I learned painting and made rosaries and jewelry. My favorite tv shows have to include, NCIS, Family Feud, all the Star Trek series, So You Think You Can Dance, Dancing with the Stars, and Project Runway. I like other Sci-Fi/drama/fantasy such as Once upon a Time, Arrow, Continuum, Beauty and the Beast, The Blacklist, Merlin and Eureka.My favorite movies include the Twilight Series, Thor, Star Trek movies both old and new, and most of the other super hero movies and Transformers. I like computer/spy/espionage/adventure dramas such as The Net, Eagle Eye, the Lara Croft set as long as they are PG or PG-13. My brain hurts so I think I’ll skip favorite books.

My three burdens:

1. Number one has to be my immobility. I developed bone spurs in my knees which prevent me from straightening my legs.  I also need two knee replacements. This makes standing and/or walking difficult. With age, over the past 15 years I have progressed from a cane to a walker to a wheelchair. The diet and the exercises I learned from home health care and physical therapy are my means to obtain the goal of walking again one day.
2. Living with arthritis needs to be on the list. It is not debilitating for me, but I’ve learned to live with a certain amount of pain every day. Most of the time it is like a nagging headache I can ignore and other times, drugs are needed to bring the pain to a tolerable level. It becomes a part of life you accept as part of aging.
3. I couldn’t really think of a 3rd burden unless it is time. At 65, and with mobility issues, I recognize that I am past ‘middle aged’. There are fewer years ahead of me than behind me. I need to be aware of that fact and enjoy and be thankful for what I have while it is happening.

This has grown to epic proportions. Now you know more about me than you ever wanted or needed to know. But it was a great thinking exercise. Feel free to borrow the idea for your own blog.

And the journey continues…