Sunday is usually the end of my week. Hubby is off and around and it is my day for my weekly weigh in. I sometimes sleep a little later and get up a little later. I’ll watch sunday Mass on the computer and feel I’m somewhat still connected to my church community. We might have brunch instead of breakfast and lunch and it’s a lazy day with most likely a nap involved. I’ll still do my therapy exercises during the day but there is never much on tv to occupy the mind. I did manage to lose 2.2 lbs. this past week for a total of 20.2 since Aug. 1st.
It is an odd day today. I seem to be a little blah. I’m beginning to understand how my mother lives, though she is more active than I am able to be. She is almost 90 and lives alone with her dog and her plants. She watches tv and plays solitaire and seems to be content. She has a neighbor who has adopted her and checks on her daily for us since we live out-of-state. I have always been a private and introverted person, and as long as I have the computer and the tv I can keep myself occupied all day. But some days, emotional changes occur. Not quite mood swings, just a vague blah or emptiness verging on boredom. It is odd and sometimes quite disconcerting to wake up ‘on the wrong side of the bed’ for no discernible reason. I figured mood swings were a part of the past after menopause. But, I guess women have them for life depending upon what day it is or what might be happening at the moment.
I have had the mood swings when my physical progress took a step back after much forward momentum. It is always difficult to pull myself up and keep going because the step backwards always seems to blind side me unexpectedly and without warning. But each time I kept trying, sometimes after fear and tears and the worry that the progress wouldn’t continue and I’ve managed to get stronger. I have noticed the worst time is always after a doctor visit. There is the effort of dressing for the public, getting into and out of the wheelchair and the car and then sitting in the doctors’ office for a couple of hours and then doing it again to get back home. It always seems to take a bit of a toll on my body and my physical strength and it takes a week to a week and a half to feel ‘normal’ again and into my normal daily routine. That doesn’t help me to be eager to leave the house and see the doctor.
As for today, I’m not quite moody, maybe just a little introspective. Not quite bored, just a little blah. Not even cranky, just blah. That seems to describe it the best. Sunday tv is not the best normally and today it is worse. Our local cable provider is fighting with Viacom. Viacom wanted to raise the rental fees for certain tv channels our cable provider supplies us with by 50% and they refused to pay and so we lost a few of my favorites like CMT (country music channel), and spike tv. I used to watch the top 20 countdown every Sunday on CMT. There were a few others we lost also, but the replacements are a little odd. We got Blaze which seems to be another political/commentary type and I had plenty already. We gained OWN which I guessed might be Oprah Winfrey Network, ID which seems to be investigative reality tv, UP tv which might end up being a good one, FXX which might be movies and older tv shows and would be okay. We also got Hallmark movies & mysteries which I’m hoping will be a good one. I’m still waiting for the tv guide in the newspaper to catch up so I can figure it out. It’s a picky thing, but I don’t like change. Funny how we tend to get a little bent out of shape when things don’t go like we want them to.
Anyway, today will be a bit of rest and blahdom and some ramblings to get over it. All in all not too bad. I managed to get a blog out of it and now I’ll go back to channel surfing and solitaire. Who knows, maybe I’ll buy a microwave pressure cooker or a workout dvd. See you next time…