I’m just rambling today. One of those days where the mind won’t shut up and most of what it is saying is crazy or depressing. Nothing really clear, just jumbled feelings. Sometimes it is disquiet or dread, sometimes it is verging on depression and apathy. Having been diagnosed and treated with clinical depression back in my younger years, I can recognize the mood when it tries to sneak in the back door. That’s when you do everything in your power to distract yourself from the jumble until it passes. It usually blows away after about a day.
I didn’t really have anything to talk about today, so thought I’d just get rid of some of the cobwebs to help. I also like to read blogs to find new ones to follow. And then, there is always tv, though I can get really tired of flipping channels trying to find something worthwhile to watch. On these kinds of days, my attention span is short and picky. I delete emails and pass along uplifting messages from Facebook friends. I’ll put up ads for my Avon page in hopes of a sale. Yesterday, I even drug out my paint brushes and painted leaves all over a vase. It was partly therapeutic and relaxing, and partly satisfying, though I found like everything else, if you haven’t done it in many years, it is difficult to do it as well as you used to be able to. Since it is going to sit in the corner of the fireplace, it will do just fine.
All of my hobbies have cost me money. If it is reading, I read fast and books aren’t cheap. A paperback book now costs close to $10. Painting requires paints, brushes, canvases or other surfaces to paint on and reference books and sealers to finish your project. And then, you end up collecting painted things you can’t sell or give away and then you put the brushes up and turn to something else. Crocheting takes time and yarn, and is a great way to keep your hands busy while watching tv. After you have given every family member a new afghan, you pack away the crochet hooks and the yarn and move on. I love making rosaries. I made myself several, sold some on eBay, and made mission rosaries to send all over the world. When my arthritis acted up, I put up the rosary pliers and moved on.
I discovered the wii. I like Animal Crossing for its simple mindless pleasures of picking apples and fishing, but it can get boring quickly. I have a couple of versions of Harvest Moon which is so involved, you can spend weeks and months trying to get to the final goal, but they can become repetitious also. I remember when my kids were little, and they were hunting for something to relieve the boredom, I would tell them with exasperation to go outside and play! Since I don’t have that option, I think I’ll go back to flipping the channels. If nothing else works, I can always take a nap. Tomorrow will be a better day.