I was an insecure child. I always felt I was not quite normal, always different from everyone else, not quite fitting in. I always saw myself as being on the outside looking in. I never understood what my husband saw in me. I never could see past my flaws and limitations to find anything worthwhile.
I got married at 20. My husband was the third person I ever dated, so I was pretty naive and unexperienced. My expectations and understanding of how married and adult life was supposed to be came from romance novels and television. 9 months after our wedding we had our first child. I remember looking at our son and feeling tremendous awe at what we had done. A living, breathing miniature of us. How was that possible! Amazing.
2 years later, we had our daughter. I remember laying in the hospital holding her in my arms and thinking, “I am married and I am holding my second baby. I guess I am finally a grownup.” 40 years later, it is nice to finally be comfortable in my own skin. There is a lot to be said for getting older. You have changed what you didn’t like about yourself, or have learned to accept yourself for what you are. It’s a very nice place to live.