Mixed Emotions

You know how some days you just feel a little off? You’re not sure why, but you just don’t feel quite up to normal. I began thinking about things, and trying to figure it all out.

Church was good, as usual. Music was great. Our weekly after-Church family Mexican food dinner was good. The conversation and together time is always enjoyable.

Hubby and Daughter and I played Trivial Pursuit on the Wii that afternoon. We had fun, though it was disconcerting to discover just how much trivia I don’t know!

Then my mind wandered in another direction. Our daughter was laid off from a good-paying job and has been unemployed for quite a while, waiting for a call back. Her unemployment benefits gave her much more than minimum wage. Abruptly and with no warning, her benefits were cut off. It seems that Congress is fighting over money once again. One side wanted to keep on giving with no regard as to where the money was coming from, and the other side said ‘Enough is enough!’ I tend to side with the ones who want to monitor just how much we keep giving , because it comes out of my pocket in the long run in taxes of one kind or another. This was the first time a fight in Congress impacted our family so closely. We have had to help our daughter many times paying one bill or another, buying this or that, fixing her car, paying the cell phone bill so we could keep in touch…that type of thing. Now, our own reserves have been depleted. There is just no more money to help keep her afloat. And she has been trying to get work. She has wonderful phone interviews or has been called in for face-to-face interviews and went away feeling positive and excited, only to receive an email saying ‘Thanks, but no thanks. We are pursuing other candidates.’ I don’t know how she has been staying positive for so long, but it is beginning to wear on her. And now that things are critical, the pressure is on! It is possible she might end up losing her house and need to come back home to live with us. At 60 years old, it is odd to think of a child moving back home for a while.

And then my mind thought of one of the Deacons at Church. It seems he was in a motorcycle accident and broke his ankle. Since he is somewhere around my age, I rolled my eyes at the thought. At the same time, I was thankful he wasn’t hurt much more!

And then, my boss and friend at work, just lost her father in-law. Her husband is quite involved in the business and I felt empathy and sympathy for them both. A loss always affects everyone around in varying degrees. It brought to mind my own fauther, and sister, and various friends I’ve lost over the years.

My sister’s neighbor, who they adopted as a grandmother, is in a nursing home now. She is 75 and was living alone until she started having trouble getting herself to the bathroom. One day, she fell and lay there until someone came to check on her. She is diabetic, overweight, and has had several bouts of Cellulitis in her legs. They told her she needs knee replacement surgery on both knees, but her health is too poor to do the surgery. In effect…they told her not to walk, and gave her no hope for improvement. 75 is too young to lay in bed for the rest of your life!

Another friend has been battling cancer of the stomach. In further testing, to decide on options and further treatment, they discovered a second type of cancer in his liver. Living with cancer is emotionally difficult. I can’t imagine trying to battle two different cancers at once. He and his wife have been the subject of many of my prayers.

I can’t think of anything else that is new. Perhaps that is a good thing! The things brought to my mind will keep me busy praying for quite some time. I guess it’s understandable I felt a little ‘off’ today.