Wheelchair/Handicap accessible?

Like most people, I’ve never paid much attention to wheelchair ramps at restaurants. I never thought twice about using the handicap stall in a public restroom if it was available. I remember noticing people parking in handicap parking places and walking into stores without any visible handicap and wondering how they got their permit. I can say, I never parked illegally in a handicap parking spot.

Since I’ve started using a wheelchair for family outings, I’ve noticed there is a wide variance in the compliance of “wheelchair/handicap accessible”. Many public restrooms are extremely difficult to navigate. Many stalls are slightly too narrow for a wheelchair to actually fit into the stall. I’ve had to park my wheelchair in the doorway of the stall, struggle up to the toilet while my daughter stood as lookout, and used the facilities without the privacy of a closed door. Some have a handicap bar on one side, but I had to hold onto my daughter on the other side to keep from using the toilet seat to steady myself. Some hallways or entrances to restrooms are actually too narrow to navigate without hitting walls or bumping door jams. I even had to use the restroom in a doctor’s office building that had no handicap bars or a door wide enough for a wheelchair to fit inside. I had to leave my chair in the hallway and once again, use my daughter standing in the door for a little privacy.

I recently went to the Big Texan Steak House for my husbands’ birthday dinner. I came in my wheelchair and the hostess put us in the middle of a long table. Since the restaurant was only about half full, we didn’t worry about it at first. Before we had even ordered, they seated a group of people at one end of our table. I mentioned to my family, “If they try to seat people at our other end, I’ll be trapped here in the middle without a way to get out”. Sure enough, we had two separate hostesses bring couples and begin to seat them at the other end of our table. We stopped them saying, “I’m in a wheelchair. If you seat people there, you will trap me in here without a way to get out.” They looked at me blankly, as if I were causing trouble, apologized to their group and took them elsewhere in the half-empty restaurant. I was amazed at their inattention and was nervous and uncomfortable the entire time we were there.

We have learned to call ahead and ask about accessibility, or go for a ‘drive-by’ and scope out a place before trying it out. One place we knew was very small, in an older building. We were told they would help us any way they could to get my wheelchair over the door sill and into the restaurant. We passed. Another place told us the restaurant was wheelchair accessible, but not the bathrooms. We went somewhere else. One restaurant we went to, had the non-smoking area down 3 steps in a lower level. As a result, we had to sit in the smoking section. We will not go back again.

I remember saying once, “A woman never would have designed this kitchen!” By the same token, I think they forgot to get someone who was actually handicapped to try out the public restrooms when they designed them. This has made me think more often of a friend of mine at church. She is a paraplegic, has an electric wheelchair, and a van with the lift ramp and everything. I always admired her for her dexterity. There have been advancements made in recent years. It is just too bad that most places still make me “feel” handicapped.

My Husband is a saint!

I was talking with a friend the other day. We had heard about a woman whose husband had lost his job through his neglect. She is currently divorcing him. It made us stop and think and appreciate what we have! This year I will be married to the same man for 40 years! It seems amazing, but I’m certain it is only by God’s grace! I’m nothing special, not “Suzy-home-maker” by any means, just someone ordinary who found someone special when I was in the 7th grade. He told me that as soon as we met, that I was the girl he was going to marry! Wow! Don’t get me wrong. We’re not perfect, and there is no such thing as a perfect marriage! What there is, is committment and the determination to stay together for life! All of this made me think of a poem I wrote a couple of years ago. Here it is re-worked a little bit.

You have loved me forever I never knew why.
So teasing and kind to someone so shy.

You gave yourself freely. We started a life;
You as my husband, me as your wife.

You were lover and friend, the other half of my soul;
two sides of a coin together made whole.

You were father, provider, anchor to tears;
steadfast and faithful through days, weeks and years.

We are wrinkled and older and you are still here.
My heart song, my match, the one I hold dear.

In happiness and joy through losses and pain;
stable and true, always the same.

A gift from above sharing my life.
How blessed I have been to have been your wife!
Oh how I love you!

Knee replacement surgery

Well, I’ve taken the first step in checking out my knees. They are permanently constricted..that is, they are in a bent position always; I can’t straighten my legs. I’m not sure how long they’ve been that way, several years at least. It kind of snuck up on me without notice. I walked with increasing difficulty with a cane, graduated to a walker and now to a wheelchair when I have to walk more than the length of my garage. My dad had knee replacement surgery, and since I knew I had osteoarthritis, I figured surgery would be required.

I assumed since I was overweight, I needed to lose some weight before bothering to see a doctor. I’ve lost about 85-90 lbs. (without knowing how much the holiday dinners have affected that). This past year has been hard on the knees and my emotions. A fall on the knees in my bathroom back in April or May crippled me for about a month; an extreme bout of cellulitis in my right leg caused a hospital stay and about 3 months of outpatient Lymphedema  therapy which caused further deterioration in my mobility; a “mild” case of shingles that lasted about 6 weeks and then the holidays were upon us. It’s been an interesting year!

I went today to a bone and joint clinic to get x-rays and my 1st consultation. We have accumulated about 2 years of medical bills to pay off, so hubby wants me to wait before doing anything extreme, but we needed to get the x-rays and find out my options.

The knee-joint itself with the cartilage is completely gone…bone sits on bone. And since there is no cartilage, the knee has settled a little off-center. The knee cap has damage, the top of the bone under the knee has damage, the back of the knee has damage. That means, I need two complete knee replacements! They would put in a ?metal knee cap, the ?plastic ball joint, and a metal plate on the bottom bone to hook everything together. On top of that, I have really large bone spurs in the knees also, which kind of act like door stops, preventing movement. The new knees I figured I would need. The bone spurs…my daughter was predicting them, but I had never heard of that before.

The surgeries would be done  separately. One first, take off 3-6 weeks, depending on how I do. Since I sit at work, possibly would be able to return to work after 2-3 weeks. Then, since both knees are so severe, I would have to do the 2nd surgery within 6-8 weeks of the first, or I would negate the 1st…and it would be a little difficult with one straight knee and one bent knee. So, another 6 weeks off. I work in a mom and pop shop with no paid time off, except a week vacation every year. So…we need to save up money to cover my missed time at work; and will have to wait until we’ve paid off a good portion of our newly acquired medical bills. I asked if we waited a year or so, would they deteriorate more? Probably not, so it’s fairly safe to wait. Pain management is the problem with waiting.  I decided to try a cortisone shot in the left knee. I’ll know within 10 days if it helped or not. If it does, and I really like the results, I can go back and get a shot in the other knee. The shots should last me 3-6 months and then we could do it again. I got the impression, that 2 shots in each knee might be the limit.

So, there is relief in knowing exactly what is going on in the knees and that surgery can fix it and that waiting won’t be a detriment. All good things. I was a little nervous going today…an unknown place, unknown doctor, unknown situations…but had prayed that God help me not be afraid and help me in the situation. It was a piece of cake! (Sorry for the pun!) And the shot was not painful for longer than about one second! Thank you Lord for your faithfulness and answer to prayers!

Hope you all had a Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year!

Holiday Blues

As long as I can remember, I’ve been one of those people who get depressed at the holidays. Not sure why. Partly, holidays are extra busy for the bakery/cake shop business…all of those Christmas cookies! So, extra busy at work, getting tired and not enough rest, worrying about money and presents to buy, living with a semi-Scrooge who wants to say ‘Bah Humbug’ every year…take your pick. And perhaps, losing a younger sister in December one year. Add to that, the rest of the family decides they are coming to my house for Thanksgiving dinner and for Christmas dinner!

But I’ve made progress this year! I started stewing and worrying, and then decided the heck with it! The house wasn’t perfect, but the toilet was clean! I cooked the turkey and gravy, fixed stovetop stuffing, and they brought the rest! We put a long table in my small living room, and 8 of us gathered around it and had a great time! Mom, sister and niece, brother, daughter, neighbor, hubby and I all ate our fill and had a nice relaxing visit. After all…it’s the fellowship that’s important, not if the house is immaculate! Both holiday dinners were great and quite enjoyable and stress-free. It’s taken me 60 years, but perhaps I’m getting the hang of things! Life is too short to live in stress!

Another year gone…

Today is my birthday. Another year has passed. Usually I don’t pay any attention to my birthdays. It’s just another day. This time, it’s the big 60! Somehow it has more weight to it than usual.

In doing a quick review, here’s what I see. I’ve been married 39+ years to the same man. I’ve been doing the same work since 1980 and at the same shop since 1992. I have arthritis in my hands and wrists and my neck & shoulders ache most days. My knees need work, which causes walking to be iffy on most days. And you know those commercials on t.v. where the woman doesn’t go anywhere without knowing where the bathrooms are? Well, that’s me now. But I can verify that “Enablex” is truly a wonder drug!

Let’s see…we have 2 children, and our 5 grandchildren live out-of-state, so we don’t see them very often. Our daughter got “temporarily” laid off from her job. That was 11 months ago and she has yet to be called back to work.

My car is 20 years old but it has been a great car. It is still going strong and hanging in there.

We went through a bankruptcy almost 10 years ago, so our house is NOT paid for and won’t be anytime soon! It taught us to buy with money instead of credit, though. That was a good lesson to learn. All of our needs are met and some of our wants are managed from time to time.

I got a $1 an hour raise this past year, I enjoy my job, and get along great with my boss! Not everyone can say that. I have people who love me, and people who pray for me. God has blessed us. We are healthy and happy!

I talked to a friend last night. I heard her husband was under the weather and was concerned. It seems they spent some of thanksgiving at the emergency room. He has a stomach tumor. The prognosis is very good. They will reduce the size of the tumor with drugs and then plan to operate. It’s just hard to cope with, and to get past the “C” word! That really knocks your socks off!

I’ve decided the next time my hands or wrists or knees hurt, or I want to whine about how difficult it is to cope in the bathroom struggling with compression hose, I will say an extra prayer for my friend instead! It will help both of us!

Here’s to another year!

‘Tis the Season

We spent last weekend giving thanks and spending time with our families. Now, it is December and we are preparing for Christmas. We plan to give gifts to family and friends, and perhaps, to give of ourselves to others less fortunate.

A couple of years ago, I found a webpage called the Angel card project. There are two sides to the project. It is set up to send Christmas cards to shut-ins, those experiencing hard times, or those in nursing homes with no family at all. You can submit names of those you know would enjoy receiving a Christmas card at a sometimes lonely time of year.  I signed up my mother that year. She is 84 and lives alone. She got over 80 Christmas cards from people all over the country. She was so pleased and excited to look for her mail that December!

The second side to the project is for those who would enjoy sending out cards. You can sign up to be an Angel card sender, and then can pick and choose from the list of submitted names. You can send out one card, or one hundred…it is up to you to decide. Sending at least one Christmas card to someone who has no one, is a small, but  fulfilling way to give of yourself at Christmastime.

The webpage is http://www.countrychurchcrafts.com/2009angelcardproject  .  There is much information to get past. Scroll down the page until you find the 2009 guidelines. There you will find the links to either submit the name of someone, or to sign up as a card sender. There is not much time left! The deadline to submit a name is Dec. 3rd. The information is down at the bottom of the page. Keep scrolling down until you find both sections. There will be an email link to sign up or to submit a name. Be sure to follow the example when submitting a name. I endorse this program thoroughly! It blessed my mother, and it blessed me as I sent out cards to those alone or lonely.

Giving Thanks

Most of us spent last thursday with family or friends eating turkey and giving thanks in the only national holiday set aside for that express purpose: to give thanks to God for what we have.

I want to express some of what I am thankful for. I am thankful for the man I met 46 years ago in 1963 who has loved me, supported me, and cared for me faithfully during 39 years of marriage.

I want to give thanks for our son, who has become a wonderful husband, father to 4, and a man of prayer.

I want to give thanks for our daughter, who has helped drive me,care for me, and become my friend through a difficult year of hospital stay, and out-patient lymphedema therapy. She continues to be a blessing and an encourager to me.

I want to give thanks for my Church home. It has nourished me and nurtured me since 1990 and given me much.

I want to give thanks for my relationship with God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, without whom I could not get through each day. I am thankful for the opportunity to pray and to give thanks and to know I am heard.

And I want to give thanks for The Disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, a community of Nuns, who have befriended me, and prayed for me since 1990. They are a wonderful example of how to live a Holy life.

What do you have to be thankful for?

Shingles anyone?

I did my trip to the hospital. I did the Lymphedema Therapy 3 times a week. I finally finished that and began wearing compression hose to control the Lymphedema. First I tried compression leggings with knee hi hose on top. Then I tried the leggings with thigh hi hose. I finally settled on compression panty hose with compression knee hi sports socks on top.

So when things finally seemed to settle into a somewhat stable routine again, I develop a burning, itching pain that won’t quit in the left side of my back right behind my breast. This lasted a couple of days. I wondered if I pulled a muscle or something. I started imagining heart trouble. I can’t get comfortable and pain medication doesn’t seem to help. And then I broke out in a rash on my back and around my left side along the bra line. Ok then. A trip to the doctor confirms my suspicion that this is shingles. That is an inflammation of the nerve endings and it is quite painful to the touch. If you ever had the chicken poxs as a child, you carry the virus in your system and might get shingles one day.

Even though I’ve caught it early, and began anti-viral medication, the shingles has to take its course and continues to break out until it is full blown. I am unable to wear a bra. Some days the pain seems to level off and other days it burns and stings and itches and never lets up. I heard about a friend at church who had the shingles and it was so bad we didn’t see him for 3 months! I’m so glad this is a “mild” case! The bad thing is, the longer the pain lasts, the less my tolerance seems to be. It is supposed to get better in about 5 weeks! Oh happy days!

P.S. I wrote this 5 weeks ago when this began…I’m happy to tell you, I’m over the shingles. There is some residual markings like birth marks on my back, but the major rash is gone and the pain is gone too. Yeah!

Can I talk to a real person?

My favorite Christian radio station went off the air this morning before I got up. I tried to call their 1-800 call line, but this is a satellite station with millions of listeners all over the nation and it is almost impossible to get through. Next, I tried to remember their alternate prayer line # and dialed that. I got women’s voices moaning, advertising whatever. I slammed down the phone quickly, rolled my eyes, and said good grief! Then, thinking I had misdialed, I tried again. Nothing like hearing that twice! Ack!

Next, I tried dialing directory assistance. The voice mail computer couldn’t recognize the radio station call name and connected me to a real person who connected me with the 1-800 directory assistance computer. She couldn’t understand the call letters of the station either, so I gave up in frustration. All I wanted to do was report that the station had gone off the air! I never expected so much trouble finding a real person to talk to!

Prayer Shawl Ministry

I recently noticed an interesting offer in our Church bulletin. A group of women were giving away blessed prayer shawls for those who wanted one. They were to comfort those with a serious illness or who had received a negative prognosis, or just for those who wanted to use the shawl as a means to pray and get closer to God. I thought, Hmm…sounds almost Jewish. How interesting.

Beneath that notice, was an announcement for the meeting of the women who were knitting and crocheting the prayer shawls. Now I was really intrigued. I like to knit and crochet, but since my attention span is shorter than it used to be, I need a small project to do. This seemed ideal! The whole idea was wonderful to me. As a recipient, knowing someone prayed as they began the shawl, prayed as they knitted, and then prayed over it when they finished it was comforting. And then, knowing the shawls were blessed before they were given away was just an added bonus.

I’m always looking for small ways that I can give back to the church and this sounded perfect for me. They gave me the sets of prayers, 3 skeins of yarn and the instructions. I am knitting my 1st prayer shawl and have already bought more yarn for my 2nd. Knowing my prayers and my shawl might give comfort to someone in need gives me great satisfaction.

I have learned that this ministry is national. It crosses denominational lines. The main web page is http://www.shawlministry.com/. There is a links page to look for groups in your area, though it is not complete.

Whether you would like to own a prayer shawl, or begin knitting them to give away, this is worth looking in to. Happy knitting!