Shingles anyone?

I did my trip to the hospital. I did the Lymphedema Therapy 3 times a week. I finally finished that and began wearing compression hose to control the Lymphedema. First I tried compression leggings with knee hi hose on top. Then I tried the leggings with thigh hi hose. I finally settled on compression panty hose with compression knee hi sports socks on top.

So when things finally seemed to settle into a somewhat stable routine again, I develop a burning, itching pain that won’t quit in the left side of my back right behind my breast. This lasted a couple of days. I wondered if I pulled a muscle or something. I started imagining heart trouble. I can’t get comfortable and pain medication doesn’t seem to help. And then I broke out in a rash on my back and around my left side along the bra line. Ok then. A trip to the doctor confirms my suspicion that this is shingles. That is an inflammation of the nerve endings and it is quite painful to the touch. If you ever had the chicken poxs as a child, you carry the virus in your system and might get shingles one day.

Even though I’ve caught it early, and began anti-viral medication, the shingles has to take its course and continues to break out until it is full blown. I am unable to wear a bra. Some days the pain seems to level off and other days it burns and stings and itches and never lets up. I heard about a friend at church who had the shingles and it was so bad we didn’t see him for 3 months! I’m so glad this is a “mild” case! The bad thing is, the longer the pain lasts, the less my tolerance seems to be. It is supposed to get better in about 5 weeks! Oh happy days!

P.S. I wrote this 5 weeks ago when this began…I’m happy to tell you, I’m over the shingles. There is some residual markings like birth marks on my back, but the major rash is gone and the pain is gone too. Yeah!

Can I talk to a real person?

My favorite Christian radio station went off the air this morning before I got up. I tried to call their 1-800 call line, but this is a satellite station with millions of listeners all over the nation and it is almost impossible to get through. Next, I tried to remember their alternate prayer line # and dialed that. I got women’s voices moaning, advertising whatever. I slammed down the phone quickly, rolled my eyes, and said good grief! Then, thinking I had misdialed, I tried again. Nothing like hearing that twice! Ack!

Next, I tried dialing directory assistance. The voice mail computer couldn’t recognize the radio station call name and connected me to a real person who connected me with the 1-800 directory assistance computer. She couldn’t understand the call letters of the station either, so I gave up in frustration. All I wanted to do was report that the station had gone off the air! I never expected so much trouble finding a real person to talk to!

Prayer Shawl Ministry

I recently noticed an interesting offer in our Church bulletin. A group of women were giving away blessed prayer shawls for those who wanted one. They were to comfort those with a serious illness or who had received a negative prognosis, or just for those who wanted to use the shawl as a means to pray and get closer to God. I thought, Hmm…sounds almost Jewish. How interesting.

Beneath that notice, was an announcement for the meeting of the women who were knitting and crocheting the prayer shawls. Now I was really intrigued. I like to knit and crochet, but since my attention span is shorter than it used to be, I need a small project to do. This seemed ideal! The whole idea was wonderful to me. As a recipient, knowing someone prayed as they began the shawl, prayed as they knitted, and then prayed over it when they finished it was comforting. And then, knowing the shawls were blessed before they were given away was just an added bonus.

I’m always looking for small ways that I can give back to the church and this sounded perfect for me. They gave me the sets of prayers, 3 skeins of yarn and the instructions. I am knitting my 1st prayer shawl and have already bought more yarn for my 2nd. Knowing my prayers and my shawl might give comfort to someone in need gives me great satisfaction.

I have learned that this ministry is national. It crosses denominational lines. The main web page is http://www.shawlministry.com/. There is a links page to look for groups in your area, though it is not complete.

Whether you would like to own a prayer shawl, or begin knitting them to give away, this is worth looking in to. Happy knitting!

The Nintendo Wii is for everyone!

It took many years, and a handicap licence plate to admit that I am partly handicapped. My knees won’t straighten, so I walk short distances in a bent-knee position with the help of a walker.

My son and grandkids introduced me to the Nintendo Wii system. I found I could play tennis, golf, baseball, and go bowling from my sitting position! How fun! And when my daughter purchased the Wii Fit, I was extremely excited to find many exercises I could do.

There is yoga with breathing and stretching exercises. In the aerobics sections, I can go on a short or long-distance run around the countryside moving my arms and upper body. I can ski and snowboard which uses my legs and thigh muscles. The ski jump is difficult and addictive and it really feeds my frustration. The system keeps a running total of how much exercise you do each day. The games and the characters make the exercise fun and enables me to do more than spend my days off reading, knitting and watching t.v. I highly recommend the Wii system if you find motivating yourself to exercise a problem. I’m putting this one on my Christmas wish list!

Sunday Morning

I had a long night Saturday night. It had been a busy last day at work for the week. My customary aches and pains were setting in. Sometimes at night, I have to get up every hour or so for a potty run. That makes the night seem very long and I get up feeling tired.

All throughout the night, I was thinking about Sunday morning and how I should go to Church. I LOVE going to Church! I love the singing, I love to praise, I love to spend time in prayer…I just love Church and spending time with God. As I stumbled back and forth to the bathroom, I’d groan and think how tired I was and did I really want to go? Then, sleep for a little while and the cycle would begin again. I argued and stewed all night long and still hadn’t decided what I was going to do when I got up to bathe and dress. Of course, I got up a little early, which meant I was getting drowsy about the time we needed to leave the house! Yeah! Nap time.

I decided I really wanted and needed to go, so off we went. Outside, fall weather had arrived in all its glory. A little misty, and a little dreary. A real mood lifter. And of course, I was dreading the long walk into the church with my walker. Yada yada. With two rests along the way, I made it to the pew and had a little time before Mass began, to pray and nod at a few regular faces. And then…Glorious! The opening song was one of my favorite Twila Paris praise songs. We sang of God’s goodness and mercy and I swayed in my seat like a good little “pentecostal” Catholic! This set the tone of the entire morning! I thanked God for getting me there and for the opportunity to praise and to pray and to worship and to sing! What time I wasted dreading that walk! What a glorious time I had! It just shows I still have a lot of work to do on my attitude some days…I’m still a work in progress!

Life is Sometimes a Struggle

My husband has always been wide awake and cheerful from the moment he opens his eyes. It’s a gift. I’ve never been that way! When he said today, “Good morning! How are you doing today?” I said, “I’m grouchy!” He said, “Uh oh…what’s wrong?” When I proceeded to list my complaints of aches and pains, he snapped at me saying, “You can walk! You’re not in as much pain any more, and you are ALIVE! Do I need to say more?!” That certainly made me stop and think. Had I turned into a habitual complainer?

Any change in your life, however small, brings its own challenges and struggles to overcome. When you are in the midst of these new challenges, it is sometimes difficult to stay positive and remind yourself that things actually are improving! Sometimes the day-to-day, or even the moment-to-moment struggles bog us down. And the emotional effort can take its toll on us as well.

The pain of arthritis in my hands, wrists and shoulders from my job and from using my walker to support my weight is an ongoing complaint. The struggles to put on my brand new compression panty hose are numerous. Compression hose, if you are not familiar with them, are like support hose on steroids! It generally takes about 15-20 minutes to get them on and situated the way you want them, and by then you have worked up a sweat and had your aerobic exercise for the day!

My knees are locked in a bent position from years of osteoarthritis and sitting at my job. The situation can be corrected with knee surgery. That is an ongoing and daily pain I have learned to live with. Women…can you recall the gyrations sometimes used to put on your pantyhose? Kick one leg out to the side, squat here, lay on the bed, kick the other leg out, tug and pull, etc. My knees prevent me from doing all of those things that help to get the pantyhose in place. And so, the gyrations I do, tug here, bend over, tug there, sit down and rest, start again, etc.  has aggravated the pain in my left knee and given me a new complaint of muscle cramps in my left thigh and buttock.

On the positive side! I AM out of compression bandages now. Those were bulky, unweildy and I never want to go there again! I can drive myself to work again! I AM using my walker again and not the wheelchair! After a couple of weeks wearing the compression pantyhose, I really CAN tell that it is getting easier! The pain in my left knee and thigh has lessened, telling me some of it was muscle pain that is going away with use. I just sometimes get bogged down in the difficulty and forget the progress I’ve made.

Despite my grousing, I really do say Thank You prayers daily for the strength and abilities that I do have, and for His grace that helps me each and every day to do what I need to do! As my husband reminded me today…Things are better…I am stronger than I was…and I am alive and well! What else could I ask for?

A Sunday Adventure

We stopped for lunch after Church last Sunday at our favorite Mexican food restaurant. In the ensuing distractions of 3 people talking at once, getting my wheelchair out of the back of the car and me into it, my husband locked the car, leaving his keys in the ignition. We went in and ordered our meal before he realized what he had done. He immediately got up and went to the car to confirm his suspicions. He came back inside, shaking his head saying, “I can’t believe I did that! I haven’t done that in 10 years!” In discussing the problem, we concluded we didn’t know where the extra car key he used to keep in his wallet was now; we couldn’t remember if my key ring back at home had a key to his car on it; and we were probably going to have to call a locksmith. We borrowed a phone book while munching on our chips, and browsed the yellow pages. We had decided on who to call when my husband stopped short and announced, “Wait a second! I just got my AAA card in the mail the day before yesterday! I can call them and it won’t cost us anything!” So, we proceeded to call AAA who sent a locksmith out to us by the time we finished our meal. He took all of about 5 seconds to unlock our car! Our unexpected afternoon drama was resolved easily and quickly! Hallelujah!

Cellulitis & Lymphedema

Life can change unexpectedly from one day to the next. About 2 months ago, I had a bout of cellulitis. When my right leg didn’t respond to antibiotics, and swelled to twice it’s normal size, I was admitted to the hospital. 4 days in the hospital on my back was followed by 10 days of home health care, IV antibiotics, and a special leg wrap called an una boot. That was followed by an infectious disease specialist recommending Lymphedema therapy.

Now my life centers around work, therapy 3 times a week, and a special leg bandage similar to a soft cast that I wear 24/7. The wrapped leg is bulky and unwieldy, causing decreased mobility. Since I already used a walker, this has been a problem. It is also too large to fit under the steering wheel of my car, and unflexible which means I no longer have the ability to drive myself where I want to go. I now have to depend upon my husband and daughter to take me back and forth to work and to therapy. It has been a life-changing set of circumstances for the entire family. I don’t know what I would do without their help!

After another week or so of therapy on the right leg, it will be fitted with a special compression hose. Then, the therapy and treatment will shift to the left leg. The compression garments will prevent the excess fluid buildup in my legs from ever returning and prevent cellulitis. What I always assumed was just obesity, has turned out to be excess fluid trapped inbetween the cells of my legs. After one month of Lymphedema therapy, my right leg has lost 24 inches of it’s size! That is totally amazing to me! I am looking forward to the end result!

Bladder Problems?

Things start wearing out as we age, and as I am almost 60, it seems like a given. My maternal grandmother had a “bladder problem” in her 80’s and my mother has the same problem at 84. Long past menopause, it was not the least bit exciting for me to have to begin wearing protective pads again! When I started having “bladder problems” in my 50’s, I assumed it was a genetic problem and resigned myself to following in the footsteps of the women in my family.

I had tried a popular drug on the market several years ago for this problem, but had no success. Recently, I decided to visit a Urologist who specializes in this problem. I found out that I did not need surgery, that all of the “parts” and functions were pretty normal. The doctor gave me a drug to try called Enablex. I’m proof positive that this is a MIRACLE drug! No more frantic runs to the bathroom. No more accidents. If you have been planning every family event around easy bathroom access; or if you have been subject to what I call a “frantic” bladder that releases as soon as you even step into a bathroom, than you understand what I am talking about. Talk to your doctor about Enablex. I feel like a brand new woman! No more worries! No more accidents! For me…it has truly been a life-changing, miracle drug!

Living with fear

I’ve always been afraid. My mother was always a worrier, so I suppose I picked up the habit from her. As a little girl, I was afraid of the dark. I just knew there were boogeymen hiding in the darkness. As I grew older, my fears also grew. I was afraid of not having enough to eat. I was afraid of not fitting in; afraid to try new things; afraid to bring attention to myself; afraid of riducule. Later, there was fear of change, or of new things; fear of not being in control.  I was insecure, so I kept sucking my thumb for security until I was 12 years old. After that, I turned to eating, and that became my security and my comfort. I ate when I was sad or upset; I ate when I was anxious and I ate when I was afraid or lonely.

Later in life, when I recognized that food had become a god to me–giving me a semblance of comfort and of security–I was horrified. I had searched for God as a young teen, and then left Him by the wayside after I got married and life intruded. Searching for His presence in my life again was what I knew I needed to help myself. It has been 20 years since I began this stronger, seeking relationship with the Triune God, and it has been my salvation.  Developing and depending upon fellowship, prayer and thanksgiving has given me a peace and strength unknown before. Relying on Him has kept me sane.

Don’t misunderstand…lifetime habits still creep into my life. I still fear change. I can freak out just having to go to a new doctor in a new place not knowing what to expect. Fear of the unknown can be quite debilitating, taking over every facet of my life if I let it. Sometimes the fear can overwhelm me before I even know what is happening. I notice when I begin drawing into myself for emotional protection. I’ll read more, filling my time and my mind with innoucuous entertainment. I’ll stick close to home and become a hermit again. I’ll dread going to work and being around people, even though I enjoy my job.

Even though those instincts are still there, and I sometimes have to fight my battles on a weekly basis, I have embraced prayer and depend on Jesus for my help and my strength. I never want to become who I was when I tried coping with life without His help. I relish knowing I can talk to Him and that He really listens to what I say! I depend on Him for the strength and grace to live each day. He has become more to me than just a name in a book. He has become closer to me than anyone else. I am blessed. He has become everything to me.